26 May Sunday’s Secrets: In the Moment
Photos by Emma; Outfit c/o Primark
It’s been a while since I’ve done a Sunday’s Secrets post. Mostly, I became insecure about pouring my soul out to strangers on the internet. I recently realized that this is a form of healing and growth for me, and it’s also become a form of healing for many of you. So, here we are again… me pouring my heart out… you reading it… all of us hoping to leave this space a little better off than when we stopped by.
This week taught me the lesson of living in the moment. I have a predisposition to let my mind reside in alternate times. I either dwell on the past, or spend too much time fantasizing about what could be. Both are detrimental. Both can lead a perfectly good thing into disaster. Both are difficult habits to break.
When things go bad, I tend to relive the past. You know, replay the sweet moments before they turned bitter. This leads me to hold onto people, things, and situations for longer than I probably should. I don’t like to think that things change, but they do. In fact, change is one of the only constant things in life. It’s necessary for growth. Letting go of what was is hardly easy, but your peace of mind depends on it. Lay those beautiful memories to rest, and create space to make more.
When things are going well, I tend to live in the future. I daydream about how they will get even better, about how perfect they will eventually be. I do this with work, lovers, friendships, even the gym. I place unrealistic expectations on situations (and even on myself). This week I made a promise to myself to stop this shit. To start living, loving, and believing in the right now. It’s important to allow things to unfold the way they are destined to, and to truly accept that unfolding. The beauty about the future is that we don’t know what it holds. But whatever is there, one way or another.. its meant for us. [that whole.. you can’t fuck up your destiny thing]
So, here’s to letting the past die, letting the future be a surprise, and letting the present have its own moment. You owe it to yourself.