11 Jul Sex Appeal
This is an emergency post. My mind is sweltering with thoughts I need to get out, & luckily I have images that need to be posted thanks to Meg Tsang.
The past few months I’ve been exploring the idea of my sexuality. I find myself drawn to sexier music, fabrics & silhouettes that accentuate my ass-ets, and men who seem to see me through sex charged glasses. At first, this was liberating. Trading in my granny panties for none at all felt like a leap into womanhood…..until it became overwhelming.
SHOP SEXY FLORALS
I was always an awkward girl. Artsy, smart, well dressed and much too intimidating for the average dude to “slide in my DMs.” I’m not one of those women on Instagram posting calculated thirst traps in an effort to gain followers & cause erections. I’m always fully clothed.. speaking about black girl magic, beauty, fashion, or self love.
I don’t know when I traded “don’t talk to me” vibes for “send me dick pic” vibes… but I’d like my old energies back. I’m all for the temporary self esteem boost that accompanies having men enamored with you. However, I can do without the over-sexualization-under-apprecation-for-my-mind-ness that comes with it. When did throwing on a sexy dress become an invitation for unsolicited penis pictures, inappropriate memes, and first dates along the lines of “lets get a bottle and a room”. Am I missing the flattery in “I want to fuck you”? Is it me, or have men lost the ability to be charming and charismatic?
This past week I couldn’t help but think something was wrong with me. What kind of woman gets irritated from being lusted over? What single woman wouldn’t want an almost endless supply of dates, sex, and compliments from qualified men? Then it dawned on me: My contentment in my sexuality is self-sufficient. Feeling sexy didn’t come from a man & his ideas of me or my body. They came from my own happiness and personal satisfaction. Sexy for me isn’t the ability to attract a mate, it’s much more personal than that. It’s the freedom from wearing a bra and not caring if my erect nipples offend a passerby on the street. It’s accepting & flaunting my curves because I’m comfortable with me. It’s knowing that I can sexually satisfy myself without the emotional commitment or connection to another human being. Sexy was an internal choice, it wasn’t something I forced on myself to appeal to the opposite sex. While I enjoy that they notice, I do not advocate the way they show approval. Bottom line: My sexiness is NOT an open invitation for your inappropriateness. My sexuality is for me, not for sex-charged men who cannot control their lust.
Before I go, some words of advice for both sexes:
Men: please chill with the penis parades. If we want dick pics, we will ask. Otherwise we’re blasting your photos in the group text & laughing it up with our girls.
Women: Being sexy is a personal choice. Do it for you & know that you do not have to accept the unwarranted things that come along with it.