22 Feb Light & Shadow

There’s a silver lining once you cross the line from early 30’s to late 30s. You are no longer considered…young {adult}. You’re just an adult now. And with that comes both the acceptance of who/what are you AND that you still have so much life to live, there are still so many people left for you to be. Age becomes almost arbitrary….most of the world thinks I’m still in my 20s (not sure if this is a compliment because I look young, or an insult because I act it). And success is constantly being redefined as we age and as the world spirals into newness. This week was an emotional hurricane, a few thoughts I’ve had:

1. I find myself mourning my past selves. Feeling the duality of pity over all she’s gone through and gratitude for the resiliency to overcome them. I’ve had days and hours of crying, releasing, and shedding.
2. I’m genuinely surprised at how okay I turned out given all of the emotional, spiritual, and mental odds that have been stacked against me. I’m proud of myself. I finally understand what it means to break generational curses.
3. The way our bodies hold onto emotional pain fascinates me.
4. I’ve never been happier or sadder or more focused or more confused in my life.
5. I read a random fictional short story today. I haven’t done that in YEARS. It felt good to rediscover ways to use my imagination.
6. Writing is an escape I’ve been missing.
7. Longer form content is my jam. I think I’m falling back in love with the idea of being a blogger again, and I’m ready to dive more into youtube.