03 Feb Insecurity
Lingerie c/o True & Company
I have NEVER been the type to post pictures with next to nothing on. In all honesty, I feel quite awkward in anything remotely form fitting and I shy away from portraying myself as sexy. I
was the most unsexy woman alive. Content in my colorful granny panties and oversized anything, sex appeal & Victoria just did not mesh. Part of it was an extreme lack of confidence, the other part was a yearning for men to desire me for something much more than my lady parts. Until recently I thought that this is what made me happy, and unique, in a sense. But with our generation’s sudden obsession with instagram, both vanity and sex appeal have become overwhelming. As much as I try not to seek outside validation, I find myself succumbing to the insecurities of not being valued in a sexual way.
And then… the comparisons start. I’m sure we have all been there. You know, Insta-stalking all the “bad bitches” reading all of the comments and praise they receive from men. Yearning for that same type of attention.. those same sorts of validations. Wondering what is so wrong with me that I can’t get a man to say those things about me to save my life! Am I ugly? Am I undesirable? What the fuck is it? And sure, I’ve asked men..and I get the same answers “That’s just eye candy we don’t want to wife those types of women”. Well what am I then, just a mediocre girl with a great personality? How can I be valued as “sexy” when: my breasts are tiny, my ass is small, I don’t have the most toned abs, my cheeks are big, my bottom teeth have shifted and one is crooked, I have a hump in my nose, my toes are crooked. I basically found every minuscule flaw and magnified it. For me, those things became the reasons why I couldn’t be seen as sexy. It has taken YEARS to get confident enough to find my own level of sex appeal and to be confident in my own skin. I am awkward and clumsy I have no rhythm, but I am so confident in my flaws that you would never be able to tell.
So this post is basically a big FUCK YOU to this generation and society force feeding us what is sexy. You want to be sexy? Go be sexy, and do it by being your God given self. I debated on wearing lashes, foundation, bold lips for this shoot and promptly decided against it. I have on minimal makeup and obviously barely any clothes. My photographer even photoshopped a scar out of one picture, but I chose to use the one with the scar. I do not want my flaws to magically disappear. I am a REAL woman with a REAL body, it may not be perfect but it is mine. I have fought myself too hard to become this comfortable. I have spent hours in front of a mirror convincing myself that my uniqueness is still beautiful. I have hit emotional lows debating on plastic surgery, and finally going against it. You, yes you, whoever you are reading this.. you are beautiful. No, you may not be Beyonce, or Kim K beautiful. No, you may not receive validations from men about how gorgeous you are. You may have rolls, acne, thinning hair, crooked teeth, overlapping toes, stretch marks etc…. but you are a beautiful work of art. Learn to love and appreciate yourself for exactly who you are, and I promise you.. once you believe your beauty.. the rest of the world will notice it too.
True & Company is a new lingerie company I stumbled upon on Insta and their brand is all about promoting confidence in real life women. They have some of the CUTEST lingerie ever and…. click this link to get a special code for $25 off your order.
I love you guys! Stay beautiful.